How to Appreciate Your Administrative Assistant (and Build a Stronger Nanny Agency Because of It)
If you run a nanny agency, your administrative assistant or virtual assistant is often the backbone of your operations.
They are managing inquiries, coordinating placements, communicating with families and caregivers, and keeping your systems moving.
And yet, many agency owners unintentionally under-support and under-appreciate this role.
Not because they do not care. Most care deeply.
More often, it is because they do not have a clear framework for what appreciation actually looks like in a business setting. They think of appreciation as a gesture instead of something built into leadership.
If you want a stronger, more consistent, more supported agency, appreciation has to go deeper than a thank you.
It has to be reflected in how you lead.
Appreciation Begins Long Before Recognition
Most agency owners think appreciation starts after someone has proven themselves.
The truth is, it starts the moment someone enters your business.
When an assistant joins your agency without clear onboarding & training, without defined expectations, without a sense of how success is measured, they are left to navigate your business on their own.
While bringing a new team member in quickly may feel efficient in the moment, over time it creates something much heavier:
Uncertainty.
Second-guessing.
Inconsistency.
One of the most powerful ways to show appreciation is to say, without saying it directly:
You matter enough for me to prepare you well.
A thoughtful onboarding and training process, even a simple one, communicates respect. It gives your assistant a foundation to stand on and a clear sense of how to succeed within your agency.
Before bringing on another team member, take the time to prepare:
Record your key processes and systems, even if they are not perfect
Provide examples of strong communication and workflows
Create a simple two to three week onboarding plan
This is not extra work. It is leadership.
Investing in the training of your assistant directly impacts how confident, capable, and supported they feel in their role.
Dilia Coppedge of The Nanny Loft, dedicates an entire month to onboarding new team members. It becomes her primary focus during that time. The result is not just a well-trained team. It is a team that feels clear, connected, and set up to succeed.
They understand their role.
They understand how their work fits into the agency.
And they show up with a level of ownership that only comes from being properly supported from the start.
People Do Not Stay for Tasks, They Stay for Connection
In a role that is often remote, fast-moving, and detail-heavy, it is easy for administrative assistants and VAs to become transactional.
Messages in. Tasks out. Repeat.
But behind every organized inbox and completed checklist is a person.
A person with preferences and goals. A person with a life outside of your agency.
When you take the time to ask what they enjoy, what they care about, and what their life looks like outside of work, you are doing more than building rapport.
You are building trust.
You are shifting the relationship from “I work for you” to “I am part of this.”
That said, connection without boundaries can become costly.
Early in my leadership journey, I did not maintain strong enough boundaries with my office team. What should have remained a professional relationship rooted in respect and appreciation gradually became overly personal. There was oversharing, blurred lines, and time spent together that went beyond what supports a healthy working dynamic.
Over time, that lack of structure created unintended consequences. Expectations became unclear, roles felt less defined, and it ultimately led to resentment and, in some cases, betrayal.
What I have learned since is this: You should build real relationships with your team. Care about them. Support them. Create an environment where people feel seen and valued.
Always remember true leadership also requires clear, consistent boundaries.
That looks like:
Keeping communication supportive, but not overly personal
Maintaining professional roles, even when you genuinely like each other
Setting clear expectations around time, availability, and decision-making
And yes, even simple things like separate hotel rooms at conferences
You can be warm without being enmeshed.
You can be supportive without overextending.
The goal is not distance.
It is clarity.
Because the strongest teams are built on both connection and professionalism.
The Smallest Gestures Often Carry the Most Weight
Once you truly know someone, appreciation becomes easy.
Not because it requires more effort,
but because it becomes more intentional.
A coffee sent during a busy week.
A quick message acknowledging how they handled a difficult situation.
A handwritten note that says, “I see what you’re carrying.”
Remembering and celebrating their birthday each year.
I remember attending an Association of Premier Nanny Agencies conference years ago, sitting at a roundtable hosted by a team member from GTM Payroll Services. I asked her what her favorite perk of working there was.
I expected her to say health insurance or the retirement structure. The kinds of benefits that can feel out of reach for a small business.
Instead, she said, “They always give us our birthdays off. Paid.”
It stuck with me.
It was not about the size of the perk. It was about what it represented.
I could not offer big health insurance plans or a 401(k) match at the time, but I could offer birthdays off, paid.
These moments are small but they are not insignificant.
They create a sense of being valued that compensation alone cannot replicate.
And in roles that often operate behind the scenes, being seen matters more than most agency owners realize.
Appreciation Also Looks Like Structure
There is another side to appreciation that is talked about far less, but felt far more deeply.
It is the daily experience of the role itself.
If your assistant is constantly:
piecing together unclear communication
reacting instead of following a clear process
managing disorganization that was never addressed
No amount of kind words will outweigh that.
Because appreciation is not just what you say.
It is what you create.
When you build systems, clarify expectations, and reduce unnecessary chaos, you give your assistant something incredibly valuable:
Stability.
And from stability comes confidence.
From confidence comes ownership.
From ownership comes growth.
I saw this firsthand working with Sara Elmore from Elite Nannies on Demand.
When we first started together, she was a one-woman, incredibly driven agency owner. She had built real success, but it came at the cost of working morning to night and carrying everything herself. She knew something had to shift.
Together, we built out her workflows, systems, and processes.
Now, she understands the difference between owning a business and running one.
Her team is well-trained, well-supported, and equipped to operate the agency even when she is traveling. She remains a hands-on leader, but she is no longer the bottleneck.
She has created a business that not only grows, but also supports the people inside of it.
That is appreciation in action.
Appreciation Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
Not everyone feels valued in the same way.
Some people light up when their work is acknowledged out loud.
Others value flexibility.
Others feel most appreciated when they are trusted with more responsibility or compensated accordingly.
What makes you feel appreciated in your role?
And then listen carefully.
Because appreciation only works when it actually lands.
At Preferred ChildCare, Inc., we have built this into how we operate. For holiday gifts, our office team chooses what matters most to them. They can select a cash bonus, additional paid time off, or a gift of similar value.
And what’s always interesting is not just what they choose, but what it tells you.
One team member consistently chose additional paid time off year after year. Over time, she had built up nearly three months of PTO across her tenure.
It was a clear signal.
For her, time was the most meaningful form of appreciation.
(We may have learned to set a cap after that, but the lesson still stands.)
When you stop assuming and start asking, you create a culture where appreciation is not just offered, but actually felt.
The Ripple Effect Inside Your Agency
When your administrative assistant feels supported, trained, and valued, it does not stay contained within that role.
It shows up everywhere.
In how quickly clients are responded to.
In how smoothly placements move forward.
In how your agency feels to everyone it touches.
Your internal experience becomes your external reputation.
And in an industry built on trust and relationships, that matters more than anything.
You do not need grand gestures to create a strong team.
You need intention.
You need consistency.
You need leadership that sees beyond tasks.
Because your assistant is not just helping your business run.
They are experiencing your leadership every single day.
And that experience becomes the culture of your agency.
So when you choose to lead with clarity, structure, and intention, appreciation is no longer something you say.
It is something your team feels.
All my best,
Megan
